


The Lost Letters

by Alwaysmusic0410



Category: The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Childhood Friends, Crushes, Death, Emotions, F/M, Feelings, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, First Love, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Letters, Love Letters, Multi, Secret Crush, Secrets, True Love, westallen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-01-07 15:37:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18413603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alwaysmusic0410/pseuds/Alwaysmusic0410
Summary: Iris and Barry have been friends forever, but will everything change when Iris discovers a box of letters written to her over time from Barry.  The letters send Irises emotion and thoughts all over the place and she has to figure out what it means for them.





	1. New Start

Iris was just days away from moving into her first apartment and naturally she was so excited.  While she loved her family and close relationship she felt like she needed a new fresh start.  She had just finished college with her degree in journalism, and she was about to start her dream job at CCPN.  Everything was lining up for Iris, dream job and apartment, but she still felt like something was missing maybe a dream guy.  While that wasn't at the top of her list she missed the little things that a boyfriend and a relationship brought.  Someone to share her day with, talk about annoying co-workers, watch movies with and many other things.  Her dads new partner Eddie Thawne aka detective pretty boy, nicked name by her brother Wally, was always casually flirting with her and insisting that he should take her on a date no matter how many times she turned him down.  Iris thought she might actually cave now that her bestfriend Barry and sound of reason wouldn't be around for the summer.  Barry was chasing his own dreams and was going to be a lead CSI at CCPD working with her dad.  They practically gave the lab to him after he had to write a paper about the science behind police work.  Soon they realized how smart and naturally talented he was at such a young age even though he was usually late for everything, but before he could start he had to spend 2 months training with other CSIs getting used to field work and other things.  Barry would be back in no time, but Iris was still going to miss her bestfriend.  They had just finished having a family dinner before Barry had to leave for the airport, and Iris wanted a moment alone with Barry as she walked him to the car.  Barry was about 6'0ft and Iris was much shorter barely hitting 5'5, but she fit perfectly in his tall frame.  She walked with both her arms wrapped around his waist as he carried his bag and his free arm over her shoulder.

"Barry please have some fun and be careful."  Iris says looking up at Barry.

"I will." Barry says smiling.

"Sorry I couldn't go with and drop you off, but when you get back we will have a welcome home dinner & apartment tour."  Iris says with such glee.

"Can't wait.  I'm sure McSnurtle will love to show me around." Barry says laughing.

"He better pull his weight around the house or he has to go." Iris says firmly before letting out a small laugh and smile.

"He is a pretty good roommate no complaints.  Thanks again though for watching him I really appreciate it." Barry says smiling down at Iris.

"Okay Iris, release the boy before we're late and he misses his flight." Joe says tapping his watch while grabbing Barry's bag and throwing it in the car.

"Bear promise you wont forget about me and that you will call."  Iris steps in front of Barry squeezing him and giving him a full embrace for awhile.

"I promise.  I'll call, text, or send smoke signals." Barry says returning her embrace with both his arms wrapped around her also holding the embrace.  Iris lets go and turns to walk back to the house when she hears Barry call out for her.

"Oh and Iris (he waits for her to turn around) I could never forget you."  He winks at her paired with that comforting smile only Barry could give her that put her at ease.  Iris smiles back and waves goodbye and soon they drive off.

* * *

Three days had went by and Iris was pretty much moved into her new apartment.  She had a full moving team which included her dad, Wally, Barry's best friend Cisco and detective pretty boy.  While she was getting settled in her new apartment Barry was getting settled as well.  He had texted that he landed safely and was roomed with a pretty cool guy named Winn.  Iris had also started her new job at CCPN, she was still new so no real assignments were assigned to her just yet which she was grateful for since it left more time to unpack all her remaining boxes and make her apartment feel like a home.  One of the things still not unpacked were the pots and pans so she figured she would stop at her dads house to pick up a few things and have dinner with her family.

"Hey Cecile.  Where is dad and Wally?" Iris says walking in and hugging her dads fiancé Cecile.

"Hey Sweetie, Wally is at Jessies and your dad in the kitchen finishing up dinner." Cecile says returning Iris's hug.

"Alright ladies coming through (Joe sits a pasta dish on the table).  Hey baby girl."  Joe says giving Iris a side hug and kissing her forehead.

"Hey daddy."

"Well lets eat ladies, how is the new job baby girl?" Joe asks as they all sit around the table making plates.

"Pretty good so far.  I'm getting my first assignment next week, its small but I'm nervous and excited all at the same time."

"Awww congrats sweetie, small or not I'm sure you'll do great." Cecile says.

"You know she will, she is a West we only do great."  Joe says taking a huge bite of his food.  

As the three of them continue to eat and talk about everything that's been going on with their lives and the random news happening around them when Iris's phone dings with a new message.  She opens it and looks annoyed, she replies quickly before turning her phone back over and putting it on silent.

"Let me guess, Eddie?" Joe says.

"How do you know?"  Iris says looking at her dad suspiciously.

"He asked me if he could take you on a date."

"And what did you say?"

"That your a grown woman and make your own decisions and I'm not getting involved."

"I just don't know, he seems like a good guy and obviously he is something to look at and I did tell him I would go on one date with him since he did help us move, but still I have a feeling I shouldn't."

"Well do what you have to do, either go on the date or put the poor boy out of his misery so he can stop worrying me."  Joe says clearing everyone's plate.

"I'm going on the date.  I did agree to that, I think I'll have McSnurtle pick out my outfit."  Iris says laughing.

"Leave Barry's innocent turtle out of this."  Joe says coming back with ice cream.

"How do you and McSnurtle like your new apartment anyway?"  Cecile asks giving a small laugh.

"So far he is a good roommate.  He like his little area I have set up for him and keeps it clean.  As for me I love it my neighbors are all pretty nice and friendly, can't wait for you guys to get the full tour when its done."  Iris says with pride.

"We can't wait baby girl, and I'm sure Barry is proud to hear that McSnurtle is minding his manners while he is away.

"Oh yeah dad before I forget where are those extra tools?"

"Downstairs in the basement in the red husky bag."

Iris gets up from the table finishing her last bite of ice cream leaving her dad and Cecile to finish their ice cream and still talk, she walks in the kitchen placing her bowl in the sink and walk toward the basement door.  Iris walks down stairs to rack full of tools and cleaners and other things.  Iris quickly spots the bag her dad described as she walks closer she realizes that the bag is slightly out of reach.  Where was Barry and his height when she needed him , she smiled at the thought.  After a few attempts she is finally able to grab the handle of the bag and pull it toward her, but as she did she knocked over a few things.  She noticed a box labeled, "Barry's Science Lab", again she smiled thinking about Barry and how he really did build a science lab down there and you had to have clearance to enter which he always gave her after she begged.  Iris went to pick up the loose papers that had fallen and scattered around, but while putting them back in the box she noticed a envelope addressed to her, she eyed it confused so she pulled out the envelope and saw that it was opened so she pulled out the paper that was in the envelope and began to read it.

Dear Iris,

 


	2. Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys again for stopping by and reading I really appreciate it. So all the letter related stuff will be in Italics. I probably wont write out every letter and just take the important parts out :).. Again thank you and enjoy.

Iris quickly folded the letter back up and looked at the envelope again.  She eyed the mystery letter for a few more seconds wondering if she should read it, it was addressed to her after all and her reporters curiosity in her had to know what it said.  She opened the folded paper once more and began reading the handwritten letter. 

_"Dear Iris,_

_Thank you for helping me have a good day.  I really don't know where I would be without you.  You on the other hand might be failing Mr. Simms science class in all of your shining glory that only you have.  Glad that we are able to help each other out. -Barry Allen"_

"Aww bear." Iris says looking lovingly at the short but sweet letter.  She puts the letter back in the envelope as she does this she doesn't know why, but she feels a little saddened and wants to read another one.  She places the letter back in the box in the front and notices that its another envelope and its also addressed to her, but written in red crayon.  She pulls out the envelope and the paper inside and begins to read it.

 _"Hi Iris will U bee my frend?  U have no kooties :) -Barry "_   Iris laughs at the three boxes below saying, yes, no or maybee.

Iris again puts the letter back in the envelope.  When she goes to put it back she notices that their is another envelope with her name on it.  Iris quickly thumbs through and skimming the box and soon realizes that the box is full of letters addressed to her.  She hears footsteps coming and she quickly puts everything back.  Joe is standing at the top of the stairs of the basement.

"Hey baby you alright?" Joe asking looking slightly concerned as he take a few steps into the basement.

"Yeah, just seeing what else I can grab."  Iris says giving him a smile to sell it.

"Why am I not surprised." Joe says rolling his eyes and heads back out of the basement.

Iris picked up the red husky tool bag and put the box back where she found it and made her way upstairs, but mid way up the stairs she stopped and looked back at the box.  She knew she shouldn't, but she wanted to read those letters.  That night when she got home all Iris could think about was the letters in the box, so the next morning when she was sure everyone was out of the house she went and took the whole box back to her apartment.  As she was going through the letters she noticed that the letters started from when they were younger.  They were written in crayon, finger paint, or marker with stick figures in every letter with her and Barry holding hands which made her smile, because that was the beginning of everything for them.  As she read a few of the letters she got to one dated a day after Barry's mom had died and he came to live with Iris.  Before reading it her heart was racing she knew how painful it was for Barry and how everything for him was changed forever.

_"_ _Dear Iris,_

        _Last night was the worst night ever, but thank you.  You didn't ask me a million questions, you just sat with me and let me cry and told me you believed me about my dad.  So far no one believes me about my dad, but it doesn't really matter because you do and that makes me happy.  I hope you don't think I was being a baby, its just I really really really really miss my mom_.   _I can't have my mom and my dad right now, but at least I still have you and that makes me happy even when im sad, so thanks again- Barrry. Allen :)"_

Iris wipes away a tear, " Awww Barry."

Iris looks at the letter again and remembers that night like it was yesterday.  She remembers hearing a noise from downstairs and knew it could only be Barry.  She walked over to him and sat beside him and patted her lap for him to lay his head down and just let him cry.  He had lost his mom and dad in the same night and was alone, she had to be his family now.  She felt even more protective of him than she already was and wanted to shield him from all the bad things even more.  She follows up that letter with another and its dated about 1 week later.

_"Dear Iris,_

_No one still believes me about my dad.  I really miss him and just want to hug him again. I don't want to have to go see the doctor people either they want me to say my dad really hurt my mom, but its not true.  I really don't want to go back to school  either and have everyone looking at me, but I know you'll be there and that makes everything a little better.  Thank you for trying to make me laugh and forget about everything.  Thank you for sharing your dad too, you were right he really does make super good mac & cheese.  Everything is still weird because I know this isn't my house.  Everything reminds me of my mom and my dad, I don't want to live with the girl that I like I want to be at my own home with my dad.  The best thing about being here is you so thanks for sharing. - Barry Allen"_

"The girl he likes?"  Iris says.

She doesn't put much thought into it until she reads several more letters a few months down the line that had her changing her tune.

_" Dear Iris,_

_Today you became my wife, even if it was pretend.  I got to call you Iris Allen and it was the greatest, Joe can really be my other dad now.  The pizza after made everything even better, good pizza and a good wife can't wait til we are bigger and do it again for real, but with more pizza.  It was a super fun day that I will remember forever.  I hope I was being a good husband and made you happy like my mom and dad. - Love your new husband Barry Allen_

         _P.S.  I'm going to ask Joe about what you said, that if your the wife your always right and make the rules."_

Iris looked at the letter with love and a little shock.  She didn't realize how important it was to him especially because she had to beg him to play.  Iris sat there taking the letters in recalling the memories and the emotions and how warm they made her feel.  Iris looked at her phone and it was already 9pm.

"I think that's a good stopping point, don't you agree McSnurtle."  She says looking over at McSnurtle as she turns off the light and heads to her bedroom to get ready for bed.

That night as she fell asleep all she could think about was the letters.  The next few days go by and every moment she can Iris is reading another letter she doesn't realize it, but she has made it apart of her routine.  She reads about Barry's good days,  _"Today I finally even up the score in our bowling champ duel, bow down to your king.  You, me our fav. place in the world equals perfection of a day."_   She also reads about the bad days,  _"The nightmares are back and today was the worst, it was like my moms death was on repeat and I was front row.  Please forgive me soon for snapping at you, we both know I could never stay mad at you..."_   So many raw emotions, thoughts, and transparency  at her fingertips that she had always wondered about all at her fingertips on paper.  

The next day around Iris's lunch break she had just finished reading a letter about how the bowling king had just lost his crown to her when her phone began to ring.

"Hey stranger."  Iris said smiling.

"Stranger?  Its only been 2 weeks."  Barry says laughing on the other end.

"Exactly, I expect calls on the regular or texts or my smoke signals that you promised, if we are going to be apart from each other."

"Is that written in the Barry & Iris handbook?"  Barry says laughing.

"Yes, its in chapter 2." Iris says smiling at the thought.

"Oh that's right before chapter 3, Iris and her brownie obsession and how to deal."

"All jokes today aren't we."  Iris says still smiling and twirling in her chair.

"Just for you." Barry replies.

"So update me, how is it there?, are you learning a lot?, meeting any cool interesting people?"  Iris asked, really only wanting to know if he meet any women.

"Yeah its really cool, I've been learning so much that I know I'll be better prepared when I get back.  I met a cop named Patty something she is who I got partnered with out in the field."

"Really? Is she cute?"

"Yeah she is and pretty cool, but I'm not here for that."

"Good I thought you might be trying to replace me."

"Your irreplaceable, chapter 1 of the handbook."  As Barry says this Iris smiles even more and has a feeling Barry is smiling also on the other end.

"So how is the new job going?"  Barry ask continuing their conversation.  

They end up talking her entire lunch break about her job, the new apartment, her neighbors, and the family.  They end the call but not before Iris makes Barry promise he'll call her and text her more often.  After work Iris does her usual change into her comfy clothes, eat dinner and read a few more letters.  This night was different she opened it up and it said something different, 

_"Hi Mom,_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys again for reading and leaving feedback..next part coming really soon :)


	3. At Ease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading and leaving feedback this chapter is a little bit longer than the others...All the text message parts will be in Bold...have a good day

"Nope, nope, nope. "  Iris says quickly closing the letter without reading another word and placing the letter back in the envelope placing it back in the box.

Iris grabbed the letter back out of the box and flipped over the envelope and saw that it had N. Allen written on it.  She put the envelope on the table next to the box and found her self debating if she wanted to open it or not.  She felt so guilty for even reading the words, Hi mom, it was one thing for her to read things addressed to her, but this wasn't addressed to her this was to Barry's mom.  She knew how he felt about his mom so reading it to confirm the emotion would beyond crossing the line, but she really wanted to know.  Iris placed her hands on the back of her head and glanced around the room, her eyes landed on McSnurtle who was looking at her.  

"Don't give me that look."  She said to the turtle.

Iris got up to go to sleep.  All she thought about that night was the letter, the next morning as she ate breakfast before work she starred at the table looking at the letter.  Iris couldn't even focus at work because he mind was on the damn letter and all of its mystery, she felt tortured by it like it was mocking her.  When she got home she changed clothes, ate dinner and made a decision that she was going to read it. 

"Came this far crossing the line, might as well right?"  She looked again over at McSnurtle as if to ease her guilt.

Iris grabbed the envelope handling it with care, took a deep breath and pulled the letter out, "here goes nothing."

_"Hi mom,_

_I have a funny feeling you already know what's on my mind, because usually most moms do.  Why is love this way? I watched you and dad share something amazing that I pray I get to experience half of, but I want that experience to be with Iris.  She is beyond magic, but you knew that when I first came home and told you all about her and you would tease me about it.  She still lights up every room that she walks into with that smile that would put the sun to shame.  I just wish I could tell her that she is everything the sun and the moon, but I cant find the courage to tell her because I'm scared I will lose her.  She is all I have left and I don't know if I can handle that.  She is apart of me, she helps my heart keep beating and keeps me going.  How can a girl keep me so strong, but also so weak?  I even started dating someone Becky Cooper to try and push my feelings aside, but that isn't going so well because I compare everything to Iris and my feelings take over and its driving me crazy.  Iris even has a boyfriend that Joe does not like by the way, but in his mind no man will be good enough for his daughter, will I be good enough?  How do you tell someone your in love with their daughter when you live in the same house, across the hall and every now and then have sleepovers with.  Mom its killing me,  I just wish you were here to help navigate my heart and the girl that owns it...Iris Ann West.  Its not fair that your not here because if anyone knows love its you because its all you are filled with.  I love you and miss you everyday and thankful you continue to look after me and dad .  I'll talk to you soon - Love your sweet boy Barry._  

    _P.S.  I'm grateful your love got me here._

Iris rereads the letter four more times and it brings her to tears, she remebers Becky Cooper the worst high school girlfriend in her book.  She also remembers the guy she was dating at the time Scott Evans he was older and on the varsity basketball team and Barry was right Joe didnt not like him, mainly because he always had to be right which is why they broke up.  After thinking some more a random comment Becky once said to Iris after her and Barry broke up started to make a little sense, "You, its all about you, but you dont care."  Iris never knew Barry felt this way about her.

"Did you know about this?" Iris says as she looks at McSnurtle who tucks his head in his shell as if to avoid answering her question.

Iris is still overwhelmed by everything Barry admitted to his mom.  His mom the most important person to him that she, Iris Ann West, held his heart, it was no small thing.  Iris started to get teary eyed again and her phone was ringing she grabbed it off the couch and saw Barry was facetiming her, and without hesitation Iris answered.

"Hey bear." Iris says softly noticing Barry's cute beard.

"Hey, are you alright?  What's wrong?" Barry says looking concerned as he sees a few tears roll down Iris face.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine just watching a little romance movie you know me."  Iris says quickly wiping her tears, giving nothing away.

"Are you sure?"  Barry says not really buying it.

"Positive!"

"Okay if you say so."  Barry says.  Iris notices the time on her phone.

" Real question is are you okay? Its 10 here that means its what 12 where you are."

"I know, I can't sleep.  Sorry I didn't realize it was that late, umm I'll just call you tomorrow maybe."

"Bear its fine promise (she gives him a reassuring smile).  So why cant you sleep?"  Iris thought she might know the answer, but didn't want to assume.

"Bad dreams." Barry says looking away and rubbing his face clearly saddened.

"Well I'm glad you called no matter what time it is, I'm always here for you.  Plus I get to see scruffy Barry with his little beard and I must say he is handsome." Iris says giving a flirty smile, which makes Barry laugh and Iris notices that his ears and cheeks are turning slightly red.

"Well you don't look to bad either West."  Barry says laughing and rubbing the back of his neck.

The witty and at times flirty banter went on until they both fell asleep.  When Iris woke up the next morning she saw she had a text from Barry. 

 **"Thanks for last night, I needed it I slept like a baby :) You always put me at ease.  Have a good day."** Iris read with a huge smile on her face.

Iris didn't know why but she felt so giddy by the message and it made her stomach fill with butterflies, it was the start to a great morning.  Iris went into work all smiles and felt like she was on a cloud.

"Someone is in a good mood.  Better than yesterday when you seemed so out of it." Linda her bestfriend and co-worker says.

"Have you ever just started your morning off so right your day has to be amazing?" Iris ask with a full blown smile.

"Umm sure, maybe keep all that over there some of us haven't had our coffee so your happiness is annoying." Linda says laughing and walking off.

Iris finishes up a few work assignments and looks at her phone, she finds the message Barry sent her  in the morning and reads it again smiling.  She is proud of herself knowing that she puts Barry at ease and was able to help him.  Since she is thinking about him she figures she should call him.  Two rings and he picks up.

"Hey Iris." Barry says cheerful

"Hey Barry, hope your not busy."

"Nope, just waiting on some lab results wishing I had a big belly burger."

"Mmmmm that sounds good, thanks for the lunch idea." Iris says laughing.

"Glad I could help."

"Saw your text, I'm glad you were able to get some rest."

"Yeah your snoring wasn't helping at first, but I got used to it like the old days and I was able to drift off." Barry says laughing.

This reminded Iris of something Barry wrote in one of his letters, " _Iris your snoring is clearly something I'll have to get used to, how can something so loud come from someone so little..."_ Iris smiled at the thought but knew she didn't snore.

"Bartholomew Henry Allen I do not snore!"

"Okay, I take it back you make cute sleep noises"

"Better, but I don't make any noises thank you!" Iris says with annoyance in her voice, then she hears a computer beeping noise in the background.

"Speaking of noises those would be my results so I will talk or text you later okay."

"Yes, now go catch a bad guy."

"I'll try, and you go discover a story and enjoy that burger for me."

"I will, bye Barry." Iris says laughing.

"Bye Iris."

Barry big belly burger idea did actually sound pretty good she had to get back at Barry some how about her snoring comment, so she took photos of her burger and sent them to Barry who replied back with sad faces.  After Iris was done eating she pulled out another letter to read.

_"Dear Iris,_

_Another fun night eating ice cream, brownies and watching old horrible movies, but I don't mind because its with you.  I wish we could stay like this forever. just so you know I'm thinking I'm going to ask you to homecoming and just tell you its a buddy date that way it wont be weird.  Or will it be weird cause were going together sorry my overthinking in hyper drive.  Anyway see you at homecoming Iris West - Barry_ "

Iris looks at the date and notices its about 2 weeks before homecoming and is sadden that Barry never asked her to homecoming.  She would've loved it and it wouldn't have been weird for them to go together she loved spending time with him.  Instead she went with a guy named Nate who threw up on her and hooked up with random girl on the cheerleading squad.  Before Iris can analyze and think any more her thoughts are interrupted by a knock at her office door.

"Knock, knock." Cisco says walking in Iris office smiling.

"Hey, what are you doing here" Iris gets up and hugs Cisco 

"Nothing I was in the neighborhood and wanted to check out your new digs and this is niiiiiiiccccceeee. You like it?" Cisco says taking the small office in.

"Yeah its pretty nice considering I share it with someone, but still nice and putting my touches on it with the family pictures and other things."

"Speaking of family since I'm Barry's bestfriend and your his bestfriend shouldn't we throw him a welcome home thing?"

"Already on it."

"Soooooo he will know it was a group effort riiiiiiight."

"I'm willing to share credit with you, only if you answer one question."

"I feel like I should say no, but go ahead."

"How come you guys didn't ask me to go to homecoming with you guys?"

"Random much? That is a question for Barry and I'm not Barry I'm Cisco.  I can say he talked about asking you non stop for like 3 days and then he just stopped and didn't want to talk about it anymore. To be  fair you had my vote, I told him you would be game to tag along.  Well, I have to go so just send me the info on the party." Cisco said.

"Will do." Iris said as her and Cisco hugged and parted ways.

After Cisco left Iris sat in her office in full thought and wanted to know why Barry had changed his mind and didn't ask her.  She had to go to the only place that might have the answers, the letter box.  Later that night after having dinner with her dad she rushes home so eager to read the next few letters.  All day she came up with reasons that Barry may have changed his mind, did he have mixed feelings?, did they get in a fight she didn't remember?, did he overthink himself and just missed his moment.  She got home and took a quick shower and pulled the next letter out the box, it was addressed once again N. Allen.  Again Iris hesitated to open it, but she opened it anyway.

_"Hey Mom,_

              _Just wanted to write to you and let you know I'm thinking about you and miss you as usual.  Dad also misses you, but I'm sure you already know that.  Speaking of dad I went up to see him, I went to tell him I was going to ask Iris to homecoming which you probably already know.  I was so excited mom and only wanted to share my happiness and obvious excitement, but something happened when I got there.  Dad came out and I realized he looked different, I hadn't been there to see him in awhile and felt guilty for being happy and excited when he was locked up in cage like a animal.  He was so happy to see me mom, but it was killing me inside all I thought was have I been a good enough son?  I felt selfish that I was able to live my life and he couldn't .  On the way home I felt like a dark cloud was over me and how could I bring that to Iris the sunshine.  She deserves to be happy_   _and someone who can give it to her.  Cisco will probably still drag me and have a good enough time for the both of us.  Mom I just miss you and love you hopefully you think I'm being a good son. - Love your sweet boy Barry_

_P.S. Going to see dad has probably lead me to a career choice, I think I will become a CSI, but more on that later.  Miss you."_

"You bring me happiness."  Iris says softly to herself as a tear runs down her face.  She hated to read about Barry being so down on himself and more importantly thinking that he wasn't good enough especially about being a good son.  How could he think that he wasn't  a amazing son because he was amazing and his parents would be and are beyond proud of him.  She knew Barry was always worried about everyone's feelings before his own, its something that she always liked about Barry, but he deserved to be selfish sometimes and think about himself first.  It was around 7:30 and 9:30 where Barry was so she decided to try and catch him before he would be getting ready for bed and facetime with him for awhile.  After 2 rings someone picked that wasn't Barry.

"Hello?" Iris says puzzled.

"Umm hi." Says the mystery guy.

"Your not Barry."  Iris says still confused.

"Yeah sorry, he is in the shower.  I'm his roommate Winn."

"Yeah Barry has mentioned you, nice to meet you. I'm Iris." Iris says laughing.

"Same. Your cuter than your picture (Iris raises one eyebrow at the comment) sorry I don't know why I said that.  Anyway I should be saying thank you.  Your like a Barry whisperer."

"What is that exactly and do I get paid?" Iris says with a small laugh.

"I can pay you in brownie mix."

"Sounds like a deal." They both laugh.

"No seriously though, for a few nights dude was having some pretty bad dreams like he is sweating and semi thrashing around, super bad nightmares.  Then he started a few bedtime calls with you and he is sleeping like a baby, waking up full of annoying energy that we all want to slap out of him.  So what ever your doing keep doing it because were both sleeping." Winn says laughing.

"I will, just make sure I get my payment.  Thanks though." Iris smiles to herself pleased that she has brought some peace into Barry's life or as Barry had said ease.

"Your Welco- " Winn starts before a door opens and Winn looks in the direction of the door that has just opened.

"Took you long enough" Winn says.

"Mike and Freddie are in there arguing about which zombie movies are the....Iris?" Barry says stopping mid sentence noticing Iris on the phone.  He steps closer and is in full frame to make sure he is seeing this correctly.

"Hey bear." She says waving, while waving she notices Barry muscular shape and his abs, really sexy abs and that it goes perfect with his beard.  Her cheeks feel a little warm and she hopes she isn't blushing.

"Why are you facetiming Iris?" Barry says eyeing Winn suspiciously.

"She called and I picked up to tell her you were in the shower, because we both know that sound drives me a little crazy.  So now that you are out of the shower here you go (hands phone to Barry) nice to meet you Iris and don't forget Barry 10am labs."  Winn waves bye to Iris and fist bumps Barry as he leaves the room.  

"So that's Winn." Barry says.

"Yeah you were right about him, he seems pretty cool.  Might have to tell Cisco your cheating on him and that you found a new bromance."  Iris says laughing. 

"Ha. Ha." Barry says dryly and sarcastically.

"So what's up." Barry ask while grabbing a shirt.

"Nothing wanted to talk.  I might need some help with a article and figured you would be a good person to ask."  Iris notices that Barry grabbed a shirt and is slightly disappointed after he puts it on.  She is surprised at the feeling since she has seen Barry with his shirt off plenty of times, but this was different.  

"Oh, by the way I saw your other article it was amazing and well written and thought out, it just flowed like water.  I was showing it to everyone here." Barry says beaming with pride.

"Awwww bear, thank you.  It was a small article nothing major." Iris says humbly. 

"Big or small it was amazing, don't sell yourself short." Barry says smiling.

"Thank you bear."

"Alright so what is your story about?"

"Oh, its just a fluff piece I got stuck with about re-doing either homecoming/prom over again.  I personally would probably do sophomore or junior homecoming again."  Iris wants to see if Barry gives anything up about homecoming.

"Homecoming huh?"

"Yeah, didn't you and Cisco go together?" Iris asks already knowing the answer.

"Yeah we did a semi bros night I guess both times.  You went with that guy, dang what was his name?"

"Nate, ugh don't remind me."

"Yeah Nate, Nate Williams."

"I would definitely do it different, maybe join you and Cisco instead."  Iris says giving a smile and laugh trying to gauge Barry's reaction

"That would've been nice, especially if you would've been a distraction from Cisco and his dancing. Plus you wouldn't have to worry about me throwing up on your dress or hooking up with anybody else." Barry says smiling at Iris.

"Again don't remind me." Iris says again 

"Sorry." Barry says laughing.

"We would've had fun though you and me while Cisco was in his own world."

"Yeah if only we could go back and change all the would haves  in the our lives who knows where we would be."   Barry says with a small smile, but also looking distracted as if deep in thought.

Iris takes notice of how in thought Barry looks and wonders if he is thinking about what would've happened if asked her or if he is thinking about his parents.  She casually moves the conversation and they continue to talk for awhile before they hang up.  The next morning Iris wakes up and makes breakfast when she hears her phone vibrate, she is instantly excited and grabs her phone from the counter, 

**"Hey Iris hope we are still on for tonight at 7pm. Should I pick you up?  Its Eddie by the way :)"**

**"Sounds good, I'll just meet you there"**  

Iris replies to the message, slightly annoyed and disappointed that its not from Barry.  She had forgot all about her date with Eddie, she had been putting it off for about 3 weeks and just wanted to get it over with she did make a deal with him and a West always keep their word.  Iris went into work and sat at her desk in a daze, what she didn't know was Linda was watching her.  

"Hey what's up, you seem a little off."

"Yeah, I'm thinking about my outfit for my date tonight."

"Date? With whom?"

"Eddie."

"Oh, detective pretty boy.  So what's the problem?"

"How do you know there is a problem?"

"I can read you like a book, plus yesterday you were annoyingly happy."

"Alright well can I tell you a secret?"

"I love a good secret." Linda shuts the door to Iris office and sits down.

Iris begins telling Linda all about the letters she found, and how they were all from Barry she doesn't go into much detail, but does mention that Barry said some sweet things that has her rethinking her feelings for him. 

"I see him in a whole new light, and just wonder if we should try us out."

"Finally!" Linda says with a huge smile

"What do you mean finally?"

"The letters are definitely a cute surprise I didn't see coming, but his feelings for you are not.  Iris anyone that would be around you guys for 2mins could probably tell he loved you.  You feel guilty about going on your date with pretty boy because you have just discovered these feelings for Barry and feel like your betraying him in some way.  Am I close?"

"Are you sure your the sports writer and not the love columnist?" Iris says laughing.

"Just for today I am.  Look I say go on the date with Eddie get a free meal and get it over with.  If something happens it happens, if not no harm no foul you can at least say you went and paid your debt. Just let me know how it goes either way.  Now back to work before Mason comes in here and fires us both."  Linda laughs as she gets up to leave.

Iris went home thinking about everything her and Linda talked about and knew her friend was right.  She got dressed for a date with a little help from McSnurtle and headed to BJs a restaurant Eddie picked out.  When she arrived she saw Eddie already seated she took a deep breath and walked over to him.  He got up to pull her chair out as they both sat down all she could think was, "Why is he so pretty?"  The waiter approached and took their drink orders.

"So how did you find this place?" Iris asked.

"One of the guys suggested it." Eddie says tapping on the table.

"Your drinks, and I'm ready to take your order." The waiter says sitting the drinks in front of them and pulling out his notepad

"Cheeseburger for me and maybe seafood alfredo for the lady." Eddie says.

"How do you know I like seafood alfredo?" Iris asked puzzled.

"I overheard your dad telling your brother to pick you up some once."

"Is that fine for the order?" The waiter asks eyeing Iris.

"Yeah sure that's fine." Iris says slightly annoyed.

"So how was your day?"  Eddie ask.

"It was fine." Iris answers taking a sip of her drink.  As she does she realizes something.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading and all the comments and feedback are appreciated :) Have a good day...


	4. Not the Same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay hope you like it..

"How was your day?" A simple question, but such a confirmation question for Iris.  Eddie asked her this and it was dull and left her with no feeling.  When Barry asked her about her day she wanted to tell him every detail and make him feel like he was right beside her the whole day like a shadow as Wally would say.  It went both ways though she liked hearing all about his day even if was full of big science words and the test he had to run and any other things she knew nothing about.  Eddie was talking about his day and all Iris could do is fake smile and nod her head, and from what she heard when her own thoughts weren't taking over her hearing it sounded like he had a exciting action packed day, but she really didn't care. As the rest of the date went on all Iris could think about is, one question two people.

Iris finally made it home after her date, she took a shower sat on the couch and turned on some tv for a distraction then her phone dings with a message.  She picks up her phone and sees its from Eddie.  She doesn't even bother to open it, instead she texts Linda.

**"Date debt paid lol"**

**"Was it good or bad?"** Linda replies back quickly.

**"Jitters tomorrow before work?"**

**"Yes! I want all the details. Night"**

**"Goodnight."**

Iris walks in her room and decided to text Barry as well before going to bed since she hadn't spoke to him all day.

 **"McSnurtle and I wanted to tell you goodnight, and have good dreams :)"** Iris texted with a smile. She put her phone on the night stand and turned off her lamp and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning Iris woke up did her daily morning routine and got dressed to go to Jitters to meet Linda.  She realized that she didn't read any letters all day yesterday so she would double up today.  She took 2 out of the box and put them in her purse, as she went to grab her keys and phone her phone went off.  

 **"Good Morning, I slept pretty good thank you guys for caring :) Tell McSnurtle I miss him so much."** Iris smiles and replies back.

" **I think he knows and he misses you back, but real question is who do you miss more McSnurtle or Me?**

 **"Tough choice."** Barry replies with a laughing emoji

 **"I bet."** Iris sends the message and heads to jitters with a smile on her face and thought to herself, "Does he miss me?"

Iris walks into Jitters and spots Linda sitting at a table with a coffee and muffin.  Iris tells her all about the date.

"You don't understand all he did was talk about himself, on and on and on.  Then he kept checking his phone which I try to understand since he a cop, but the whole night and while I'm talking.  I felt like he wanted to be on a date with himself.  "

"That would be toooooo much pretty going on." Linda says laughing.

"So much pretty."  Iris replies laughing as well.

"Maybe because he is only child, maybe he was nervous or out of practice."

"Or maybe because he isn't Barry.  You know Eddie asked me how was my day."

"Umm Okay."  Linda said puzzled.

"He asked me that and I just said it was fine.  The question was so dull and lifeless to me, I didn't want him to know about my day and I didn't want to hear about his."

"But with Barry..?"

"With Barry I want him to know everything about my day and I want to know everything about his."

"Even the boring, weird science stuff that confuses the hell out of us."

"Yes, even the boring weird confusing as hell science stuff.  I sat there wondering how can one question from two people give totally different reactions."

"Were you thinking about Barry the whole night?"

"Majority of the time yes.  I missed not talking to him yesterday, I felt like I was betraying him in some way.  Do you think I should tell him about the date?" 

"No.  Nothing else is going to happen right?  So its done."

"Maybe your right, but I don't want to keep this from him either."

Just then Iris phone rings she looks at it and Barry is facetiming her.  She tells Linda to hold on a sec.

"Well speak of the devil."  Iris says with a huge smile.

"The devil? Do I need to hang up and call back and remind you my name is Barry?"

"That depends..."

"On?..."

"Me or McSnurtle?"  Iris says with a stern face but a hint of a smile looming

"You both have excellent qualities that cant be denied and would make it impossible to choose,  so Bartholomew will say McSnurtle, but Barry would have to go Iris West." Barry says laughing with a smile on his face.

"Fair enough, I guess." 

"So what are you doing?"

"Girl talk and coffee with Linda."  Iris turns her phone toward Linda.

"Hey Linda." Barry says waving.

"Hey Allen sexy beard, don't worry I'm keeping a close eye on this one making sure she isn't getting into much trouble."

"Thanks. On both counts"  Barry says laughing and turning slightly red as Iris turns the phone back toward her.

"Well I'll let you continue your girl talk, enjoy the morning I'll talk to you later."  He gives her a soft smile

"Bye Barry."

They both hang up when Iris looks up after putting her phone up Linda is looking at her with a huge smile and laughing.

"What?" Iris says laughing but confused.

"Nothing, who doesn't love early morning flirting and being the 3rd wheel, but not really a 3rd wheel. Those letters must be damn good."

"Shut up, lets go before were late.  But hey your right."  Iris says.

"Right about what this time."

"The letters...they are damn good." Iris says getting up and walking out the door laughing with Linda.

At work the day seems to breeze by.  Right before lunch a flower delivery comes by with red roses for Iris.  Linda rushes over just as Iris is opening the card.

"Iris thanks for last night maybe do it again Saturday night.-Eddie.T" Iris reads out loud

"Well pretty boy thinks it went well, let him down gently." Linda says smelling the roses before she leaves.

Just as Iris was putting the card back into the flowers she notices her Wally walking up.

"Hey sis (Wally gives Iris a hug) nice flowers who are they from?" Wally asks.

"They are from detective pretty boy."  Linda says before walking away to her desk.

"Wait did you go on a date with him?  These look like date flowers?" Wally asks wide eyed as they walk into Iris office.

"Yes, I did as a thank you for helping me move thing." Iris answers casually.

"I swear I thought dad and Cecile were joking about you going on a date with him.  Wow you finally caved, I thought you had better will power than that. I guess it was bound to happen since Barry wasn't around to stop you.  I can't wait to tell him."  Wally says laughing as he pulls out his phone.

"1. I do have will power thank you! 2. I was paying off a debt and keeping my word and  3.  Your not going to tell him because there is nothing to tell."

"Why I cant I tell Barry he needs to hear this."

"Because I'm your sister telling you there is nothing to tell, I'm never going on another date with him and nothing happened besides dinner."

"Nothing better happened besides dinner."  Wally gives her a stern look

"Trust me NOTHING happened.  What are you doing here anyway don't you have class?"

"Professor didn't show and figured I would take you and Cecile to lunch before my next class, but she told me she was going to be about 15mins late so I figured I'd come see my big time reporter sister in action."

"Your sweet, annoying, but sweet. I'm actually finishing right now let me give this to Linda and we can go."

They had out to Big Belly Burger, wally's favorite place to eat, where they are joined by not only Cecile, but Joe. Everyone has ordered and sitting down with their food.  

"Thought you couldn't come dad."  Wally says shaking pepper on his fries.

"Well I cant catch bad guys on a empty stomach, plus we have extra hands on the case." Joes says taking the pepper from Wally.

"Extra hands like Eddie?" Wally says laughing looking at Iris.

"Shut up." Iris says reaching for Wallys head as he ducks.

"Wally cut it out." Joe says.

"What did I do?" Wally asks innocently.

"Well, how was it honey?  The date?" Cecile ask.

"It was okay.  My date debt is paid in full and its over." 

"It was that bad?"

"He didn't think so he sent her a roses." Wally says with a mouth full of food as Joe gives him a look.

"Not bad, but not good enough to do it again willingly."

"Was it because he is sooooo pretty?" Wally says laughing.

"Ha. Ha." Iris says dryly. Just then Cecile's phone goes off.

"Ahhh damn it, I have to go the judge wants us in his chambers." 

"I'll take you back, I have to head back anyway for my next class."

"Thanks sweetie." Cecile gets up and kisses Joe goodbye and waves bye to Iris, while Wally is hugging Iris and fist bumps his dad on his way out.  As they leave Joe notices that Iris has started picking at her food a little.

"You want to tell me what's going on?  Is the job okay?"

"The job is fine."

" So what's going on?  Don't bother lying and telling me nothing either I know you Iris, something is weighing on you." Joe says finishing his salad.

Iris looks up at her dad knowing he of all people can read people, especially her.  She sat there looking him realizing he would sit there all day and night until she let him in even if it was a little.

"How did you know that you wanted to be with Cecile?"

"What?" Joe says confused.

"Like what made you know or your turning point where you were like, okay I want more with her lets give this a shot?"

"In all honesty it was a ultimatum she gave me and I got jealous."

"What?! You jealous ." Iris asked in complete shock.

"Yes, she told me either you want to go on a journey with me or let me find someone who will.  I was jealous of the thought of someone else getting the chance to make her happy and all the moments they would get to enjoy seeing her happy it pissed me off.  I knew I could make her happy and her me, but did I want to potentially ruin the safe space we had built so far.  If I had let my fear hold me I wouldn't be in the bigger and better space I'm in now."

"That's really sweet dad."

"Your old man is pretty wise sometimes."

"Indeed you are." 

Joe takes Iris back to work and she still has a little down time so she pulls out a letter to read.

_"Dear Iris,_

_Your brother is pretty cool, still weird to say, "your brother" , but he is a actual blood relative.  He also seems really smart you just like you.  I love that you just welcomed him so easy and open arms reminds me of when I came to live with you guys.  I love seeing the nurturing side you of you, its what makes you such a wonderful friend, sister, daughter and will make you a wonderful wife and future mother.  I wish one day that lucky lucky lucky lucky guy would be me (if it is remind me to go play the lotto lucky and rich lol), but if not I hope the man you choose is worthy of all you have to offer and doesn't take any of it for granted. Trust me it would be the most wasted thing on this earth.  -Barry"._

_P.S Joe said his grandkids are going to call him paw paw do we like that as nickname?  Think about it._

Iris smiles as she reads the short letter and picks up the next one.

_"Dear Iris,_

_You can finally breathe and relax now, Wally and I are just fine.  I know you've been worrying and not just a little bit but A LOT about us getting along, but don't worry your white shadow has fixed everything and yes I know that's what he calls me when I'm not around.  He just misses his mom and is trying to connect with you and Joe but he feels out of place something I'm all to familiar with.  I feel like we have finally found some common ground and hopefully he can maybe see me one day as his brother as well.  I've always wanted a sibling :).  I love experiencing you and seeing you in full blown sister mode.  I experience you differently everyday though and this, well its refreshing to see.  Your trying to be protective over all of our feelings as daughter, sister, friend but you also are the glue to the family, I hope that never changes even after we go to college in a few months.  -Barry._

Iris remembers when Wally came to stay with them after their mom had passed away during her and Barry's senior year of high school (Wallys freshman year).  Iris never really knew her mom, but Wally was really close with her.  She knew she could never fill that role of mom, but she was excited to be a big sister.  Wally grew close to Cecile pretty quickly while he and Barry had a lot of tension.  Joe didn't want to take sides, but found himself usually on Barry's side making things worse.  Iris tried to play both sides not wanting anyone to be left out, but it just stressed her out even more.  Then one day she comes home and Barry and Wally are in the living room which is full of snacks playing video games laughing and just full of energy.  She thought she was dreaming, until Wally steals Barry for movie night and Iris is left alone.  She didn't know what had changed and she really didn't care, it just made her so happy that they started bonding and really did become brothers.  As she thought about the memory she smiled at the thought that Barry knew it was important 2 of the most important people in her life to get along.  

After a long day of work Iris went home ate some fruit since she as still full from lunch and sat on the couch and grabbed another letter before she did she noticed that the box of letters was coming to a end and it really saddened her.  She loved discovering a new side of Barry and all of his openness, it brought out a feeling she never felt before she knows she was falling for him.  She pulled out the letter and began to read.

_"Hey Slugger,-"_

"What the hell?" Iris said reading the envelope.

"Why does this keep happening oh my gosh ugh."  The letter is clearly for Barry from his dad.

"McSnurtle don't start (she looks at the turtle)..Well cant be any worse than reading the letters to his mom.

_"Hey Slugger,_

_Senior year and 8 full ride college offers that is my boy!  Your mom and I are so proud and while we aren't there with you physically we are with you spiritually and in your heart.  Speaking of your heart its your senior year and your about to be a college man so let me give you some manly advice.  Tell her!  You don't want live with the regret that you never told Iris that your in love with her.  You know how many  visits, phone calls or letters I've read waiting on you tell me that you've told Iris how you felt.  You don't think I know you love her?  A blind man can tell you love her.  I know your scared and think you have so much to lose, but son you have to take a risk. You can be selfish when it comes to your heart. I promise you Joe will still love you like a son,  he raised a smart & respectable gentleman who will always be apart of his family no matter what.  You don't think Joe knows? Joe is pretty good at reading people, but Joe has also been a guy in love before, so trust me when I say Joe knows.  As far as Iris well you wont know how she feels or thinks until you give her something to think about.  Barry I have watched you build something incredible with this girl and grow with her.  You beam when you say her name and smile when others say it.  If she says no, well at least you put it out there and got it off your chest and can move forward.  She might be upset for awhile, but I know she wouldn't let all that history and time just crumble.  I know you think you don't deserve to be happy, but son you do and running to whatever college you choose isn't going to fix the problem. You want to make me happy and proud go out and chase the woman of your dreams come back and tell me a love story. -Dad"_

Iris begins to cry she rereads the letter, tears run down her face dripping on the paper.  She thinks about all the people they've been around and wonders did everyone know, but her.  Did her dad really know? Did Cecile and Wally?  Maybe she always knew, but couldn't admit it herself.  So many thoughts and questions rushing through her head  Iris calls Barry she wants to just ask him now where do they stand she can't keep any of her feelings bottled up inside.  She calls his phone and it just rings finally it just goes to voicemail.  She thought it was weird, but she was quickly glad he didn't pick up.  She knew she wanted to have this conversation in person and look him in his eyes, she also felt this would give her enough time to just flat out ask her dad did he really know about Barry so she made a  plan.

"Its Saturday tomorrow, I will get up go to my dads have a talk with him and then maybe text Barry that we should talk when he gets home." Iris says talking to McSnurtle.

Iris got up the next morning ate a bowl of fruit and headed to her dads.

"Hey sweetie." Cecile says giving Iris a hug as she comes through the door.

"Hey is dad here?"

"Umm he got up early to run a errand he said.  That was about a hour ago.  What's wrong?"

"I need to ask him something.  Well maybe both of you guys something, I don't know really its just a lot on my mind I'm trying to process all at once." Iris says really fast while slightly pacing.

"Okay.  Well can I make a suggestion?"

"Always."

"Breathe." Cecile says letting out a breath which Iris follows her and does the same.

"Good suggestion." Iris says as they walk and sit on the couch.

"So what is going on."

"My feelings they are all over the place.  I found out that Ba-" Mid sentence the door opens and its Joe.

"Hey babygirl what are you going here?" Joe says wide eyed.

"Umm came to see you." Iris says noticing her fathers look.

"Joe that was a really long errand." Cecile says.

"Well the errands plane was a little late." Joe says and as if right on cue in walks Barry with a huge smile.

"Surprise."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and all the comments and feedback have a good day :)


	5. Catching Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold is text messages :)

"Barry oh my gosh your home."  Cecile says walking over greeting Barry with a hug.

"I thought you had a few more weeks?"  Iris says taking her turn greeting and hugging Barry.  She realizes that she has missed his hugs and how they have made her feel especially now.

"I know I was supposed to, but the girl Patty that they had me partnered with left and since they couldn't find a replacement told me I could just finish everything else up here since I was pretty much done anyway everything else was more of a formality.  Barry says placing his bag down.

"Well were glad to have you back and I know McSnurtle will be glad your home he missed you."  Iris says lovingly which gets a small from Barry.

The moment is interrupted by footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Hey I thought I was going to pick you up? " Wally says yawning rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah that was the plan and I called you twice, but I also told Joe just in case someone overslept." Barry says laughing motioning to Wally. 

"Good call."  Wally says walking up to give Barry a hug.

"Well since everyone is here and up why don't we go get breakfast." Joe suggest.

"Yes Ihop!" Wally says excitedly with a smile.

"Barry is picking so just go get dressed."  Joe says and Wally follows his dads instructions and heads upstairs with Cecile right behind him to get dressed.

"Ihop would be great actually." Barry says just as Joe phone rings and he takes the call in the kitchen leaving Barry and Iris in the living room alone.

"Oh, before I forget.. (Barry begins to rummage around in one of his bags) this is for you from Winn." Barry says handing Iris 2 bags of brownie mix.

Iris takes the bags and laughs.

"He said to tell you enjoy your payment.  Whatever that is supposed to mean." Barry says making his way to the couch sitting down.

"Trust me I will."  Iris says joining Barry on the couch.

Iris sits on the couch looking at Barry taking him all in and experiencing him a little differently.  It makes her smile and laugh a little at how she is acting but she can't help it.

"What?" Barry says laughing and looking at her curious.

"Nothing."

"Its not nothing, its the beard right?"  Barry says touching his beard.

"Yeah, the beard."  Iris says, knowing its the beard and so much more.  She is taking in his features more and noticing things that she might of overlooked before.

"Glad to have you home Barry."  Iris says smiling at Barry as he turns and looks at her with his adorable green eyes.

"Same, I've missed home."  He says smiling at her.  She feels her cheeks get warm and her heart race a little at the words and to her the everything around them disappears and wants this moment to last forever.

"So when do I get to see McSnurtles new luxury apartment?"

"How about tonight?" Iris says.

"That works for me."

A few minutes later everyone is gathered in the living room heading out for breakfast at Ihop.  At Ihop everyone is catching up and hearing all about Barry's time away while eating a large amount of food mostly due to Wally and Barry and its just a perfect moment for Iris where she is completely at ease. Soon Iris feels her phone vibrate and sees a message from Linda.

**"Hey so tonight a few of us are going to a karaoke bar around 8 if you wanna come.**

**"Rain check on that.  Barry is home and I think I'm going to tell him."**

**"OMG! seriously?! Well good luck with that :)  If you need a plan b you know where we'll be :) Love You"**

**"Thanks :) Love You!"**

Iris is about to put her phone away when Linda sends her another message.

**"Hide the letters!"**

Iris reads the message and suddenly remember them and is grateful for the reminder.  After breakfast Wally and Barry decide they are going to work off breakfast with a little basketball.  Iris thought she was going to talk to her dad while they were away, but instead she goes home to clean up her apartment.  At the apartment Iris made sure everything sparkled and was in its place until she felt it was perfect for Barry.  After her hard work Iris sat on the couch and counted how many letters were left to read.

"Five letters left McSnurtle, well four after reading this one."  Iris says grabbing a letter out of the box as she began to read it.

" _Hey Iris,_

_2 Weeks left of school and we are done!!  New journey of our lives I'm just bummed that we aren't going to college together.  I'm really going to miss movie night, brownie talks and most importantly our bowling champions matches.  While we are taking the next step into our lives the memories I've created with you will last forever....."_

While Iris is reading the letter her phone buzzes, its a message from Barry which makes her smile.  She quickly reads the rest of the short letter and opens the message.

**"Hey so I know we had plans for a EPIC apartment tour/ being reunited with McSnurtle, but Cisco wants to hang out and catch up."**

**"Well if you guys want Linda invited me to karaoke with a few other people.  Its around 8."**

**"Sounds like a plan.  See you there :)"**

Iris is a little bummed out, but figures this would give her a little more time to prepare what exactly she wanted to say to Barry.  She decided that she will read one more letter before she takes a nap and then get ready to head out.

_"Hey Iris,_

_Graduation Day!!!! We made it!!  So many ups and downs but we had each other through everything.  I feel like thank you isn't enough for everything you've done for me.  Especially today you got Joe to get my dad released for the day so he could see me graduate (Yes I know it was you my dad told me).  I couldn't ask for anything more then to be surrounded by the people that I love.  You always do something that keeps me in amazement of you and I just want to touch you to make sure your real.  I hope you enjoy college, but I hope you don't forget about me. - Barry"_

Iris smiles remembering how in shock and happy Barry was when he saw his dad that morning before graduation.  Seeing Barry and his dad hug and being together was everything the whole family was in tears.  Iris secretly planned the surprise for 3 months going to visit Henry and making sure everything was going to be perfect.  Iris put the letters up in her closet and then hits her bed for a nap.  About 2 hours later she gets up and starts getting ready keeping it simple with jeans and yellow top.  As she arrives at the karaoke bar she begins to look around for Linda or anyone else she might know.  Suddenly she hears her name being called.

"Iris over here."  She sees Linda and a small group of her coworkers at nearby table.  As she gets to the table Linda hugs her.

"Hey girl.  What happened?" Linda says pulling Iris with her to the bar quickly.

"Nothing Cisco wanted to catch up with him.  So I told them if they wanted they could meet us here."

"You still going to tell him?"

"Yes, I want everything to be out open on the table.  Am I crazy?" Iris ask.

"No, your not, but here have some liquid courage."  Linda says handing Iris a shot, which Iris gladly takes and downs it quickly.  As she puts the glass on the bar she turns and sees Barry, Cisco, Wally and his girlfriend Jessie.

"Starting without us West?"  Cisco says walking up to them.

"Never.  It doesn't count when Linda makes you."  Iris says greeting and hugging everyone and locking arms with Barry.

"Welcome home Allen.  Come on we have a table over here."  Linda says leading the way back to the table where she introduces everyone to each other.

"Dude we had a kick ass welcome home party planned, but I hope this will do." Cisco says sitting next to Barry.

"Did we now?" Iris says sitting on the other side of Barry looking at Cisco.

"Yes we did." Cisco says eyeing Iris right back.

"Well thank you.  I appreciate it all the hard work and effort."  Barry says with a small laugh.

"Well let me make a toast if you guys don't mind, everyone raise your glasses please.  To Barry not only a super kick ass CSI, but to a great son, brother, and friend welcome home and all the best wishes to you and your new journey.  Did I leave anything out? (He looks around the group and everyone nods no)  To Barry." Cisco says raising his glass.

"To Barry." Everyone says following Cisco's lead and clinking their glasses together.  Barry rubs the back of his neck slightly turning red.  

Iris sits next to Barry again finding herself watching him as he interacts with everyone at the table and she smiles.  Her phone buzzes.

 **"Yeah you got it bad."** Iris looks up and in Linda's direction shooting her a look before mouthing to her shut up.

"Alright Alright Alright good people the karaoke is about to get underway 3 songs per table and then we switch everyone got it the bartenders will be coming around with your tables number." 

"Well Barry it is your party its only right you go." Linda says.

"Ummm pass." Barry says.

"Coming on Barry its karaoke everyone is supposed to sound horrible that's the fun of it." Cisco says.

"Plus none of us are taking no as a answer." Wally says.

"Alright.  I'll go as I clearly see I'm out numbered." Barry says defeated.

Soon a bartender walks up with a the tables number and of course they are table number one.  They decided that Linda, Jessie, and Barry would go up. Linda is up first singing Beyoncé single ladies, Gwen Stefani hollaback girl for Jessie and finally it was Barry's turn.  He drank the rest of his water and walked up to the stage. Everyone is cheering him on and Iris just watches with a smile which Barry returns to her as if to confirm that he can do it, he shakes his head at the group for getting him up on the stage.  Soon the song begins to play and Barry begins to sing.

"Sometimes I need a light when the moon is low, sometimes I need some loving when my feelings show although I never found the way to let you know I also never found the way to let you go and now I see that look shining on your face your smile is warming up just like a sunny place my worries disappear and all my fears erase you're my happy place when do we ever know dear what's in front of us,until we're looking back here and we see the dust I know you lift me up when I am feeling rough..." Barry sings so smooth and with ease.  Everyone is completely captivated especially Iris at not only Barry, but the lyrics of the song.

While listening to the the song Iris is blown away by the beauty in Barry's voice.  She isn't the only one, she looks and sees that a few women have crowed around and are smiling and winking at Barry as he continues to sing which gives her a little annoying feeling, but all that is pushed aside when she notices that Barry looks at her when he sings the line, "I never found the way to let you know, I also never found the way to let you go."  This is it for Iris it sends her over the edge and her eyes begin to water a little.  Linda has made her way beside her and whispers in her ear.

"Don't wait.  Tell him. Tonight." Iris turns to her and doesn't say a word Linda just nods her head and Iris agrees.  They turn and listen to the rest of the song.  

When Barry is done he is given a well deserved around of applause and cheers which makes him turn red.  Before he can walk back to the table a woman stops him giving him a napkin which Iris sees making her again annoyed.  Barry finally makes it to the table with everyone waiting.

"Dude! Where did that come from?" Cisco says patting Barry on the back and in complete surprise.

"Hidden talent I guess." Barry says feeling shy.

"Saw that cutie give you a napkin is that her number on it?" Cisco says smiling.

"Yeah it is."

"Karaoke groupie action.  My boy make me proud now."

"Shut up." Barry says pushing Cisco.

"You did great up there bear." Iris whispers in Barry's ear grabbing his hand.

"Thank you." Barry says smiling.

The group enjoys a little bit more of karaoke and some laughs before everyone is leaving one by one.

"Cisco I'm ready to go."

"Come on Barry I'm so close to getting that bartenders number."

"Bear I'll take you if you want since I'm leaving."  Iris says know that this is the window she needs to get Barry alone.

"Yeah I like that plan." Cisco says.

"Alright bye see you tomorrow."

"Say what's up to my boy McSnurtle."

"Will do." Barry says laughing giving Cisco a quick handshake goodbye.

"Hey I know its late and your probably tired, but I want to catch up just the two of us like old times."

"Never to tired for that."  Barry says smiling.

Iris gets butterflies in her stomach instantly.  As she gets to her apartment she begins to get really nervous.

"Close your eyes."  Iris instructs Barry.

"Seriously?"

"Close them Barry."

Barry closes his eyes as Iris opens her apartment door and leads him in.

"Okay ready? Open."

"Wow impressive.  Exactly what I was not expecting who knew you knew what cleaning was." Barry says laughing.

"Shut up Bartholomew." Iris says hitting Barry arm.

"Okay sorry.  I'm sorry forgive me."  He says standing in front of her pouting a little.

"Your forgiven."  Iris says falling into his adorable eyes.

"Seriously though this place is amazing and so you."  Barry says taking the whole place in walking around a little.

"Thank you Barry.  I had a little help."  Iris says pointing to McSnurtle.

"McSnurtle!  Hey buddy, I've missed you soooooo much.  Yes I did, yes I did.  Were you a good boy for Iris?"  Barry says totally infatuated with his turtle.

"He was the perfect gentleman.  You raised him well."  Iris says smiling at them.

Barry puts the turtle down and sits on the couch next to Iris.  

"I've missed you guys so much.  Its good to be home."  Barry says rubbing his beard.

"We missed you to, maybe not that beard but we missed you.  Especially me. To be honest I wanted to talk to you about something."  Iris says looking down fidgeting with her fingers.

"What is it?  Are you okay?"  Barry asks looking a little concerned.

"To be honest I'm not sure.  My feelings are all over the place." Iris says looking up at Barry.

"Your feelings?"

"Yeah."  Iris says taking a deep breath.

"Where do you want to start."

"I went on a date with Eddie." Iris blurts out.

"Ummm okay."  Barry says sitting up adjusting himself a little, clearly uncomfortable.

"No, it wasn't like that I went because it was a payment for helping me move."  Iris says quickly noticing that Barry move back.

"Okay.

"I didn't like it."

"Okay." Barry says looking lost.

"It helped me."

"Okay."

"Can you stop saying that." Iris says annoyed.

"Okay. (Iris looks at him) My bad. Go on." Barry says.

"I went on the date with Eddie and he asked me how my day was."

"And..."

"He asked me that and I realized I didn't want to share my day with him.  To be honest I felt like I was betraying you if I were to tell him about my day.  Not everyone is worthy of certain things I have to offer and I realized that only one person has really been worthy of me completely....You Barry."

"Well I'm your my bestfriend so I would hope so."  Barry says laughing.

"More than that Barry.  Yes your my bestfriend, but your more than that and its taken me a long, long , long time to realize it but what we have goes beyond all of that."  Iris gets up and starts pacing a little knowing that she has officially opened a can of worms she can not put back.  She also knows that she doesn't want to.

"Iris breathe." 

Barry stands up and walks over to where Iris is standing he places his hands over her hand to keep her still.  She looks at him his touch giving her chills.

"Continue." Barry says.

"Deep down Barry I think I've always known how I felt about you, but something else brought me to this moment that has opened my eyes."

"Iris I..."Iris quickly cuts Barry off.

"Let me finish." Iris says.  

"Barry it wasn't just Eddie that opened my eyes, I had a little help."

"From who?"

"You."

"I don't understand."

"Your about to.  I want to be completely honest with you its only fair."  Iris removes her hands from Barry's and walks to her room leaving him standing there.  She goes to her closet pulling out the box of letters taking a deep breath.  She walks back to the living room and sits the box down on the table in front of Barry and he quickly realizes what the box is without her saying a word.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song barry sings is called Upside Down by Goldford just fyi


	6. Caught Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Text messages are bold just FYI thanks for reading.

"Did you bring it?" 

"Wine, mint chip, and brownies aka the Iris level 4 kit." Linda says walking into Irises apartment setting everything on the kitchen counter.

"Your the best, thank you." Iris says with a small smile.

"So was it that bad?" Linda says opening the wine.

"To be honest I'm not sure.  I wanted him to say something." Iris says grabbing 2 glasses so Linda can pour the wine.

"Like what?"

"I don't know.  Wow, why, how could you, okay, cat, dog literally anything.  Instead he looked at me with this face..."  Iris trails off looking down and quickly taking a sip of wine.

"I mean you have to look at from his side, you basically put him on the spot with his biggest secret its a lot to process."

"I know, but I wanted to be honest with him.  I think if he found out down the line it would be worse right."

"I agree with you, because that would start to weigh on you eventually."

"I feel like those letters have added some weight now.  To be honest I don't know if I even want to read the rest of them."  Iris says looking at the box of letters on the coffee table.

"Look you came this far and Barry already knows and didn't take them so you might as well finish."  Linda says finishing her wine.

"I don't know maybe your right.  Its been a long night I need sleep.  Sorry I called you so late, well early I just needed someone to talk to."

"Always.  You know I got you.  Now go to sleep rest.  I love you okay and don't eat all the brownies at one time.  Linda says hugging Iris and walking toward the door.

"I cant make any promises.  Thank you though I love you too."  Iris says returning Linda's hug and letting her out.

Iris locks the door and walks toward the couch and stares at the box of letter on the table.  Everything in that box had brought light to her these past few weeks and made her see and feel things that lit up her world and now the same box was leaving her in the dark, especially with Barry.  Iris turns off the light leaving the box in the dark and heads to her room with only one thing on her mind Barry.

Iris had seen many emotions run through Barry's face over the years. Happy, sad, mad, scared, but the face he made when he looked at her was one she couldn't place.  All these years of being in tuned and connected and she felt like in that moment she didn't know him it was total disconnect and she hated that feeling.  Had she ruined everything between them, she started to wish she could just press rewind on the night and just sit with her bestfriend and catch up like old times.  Iris began to cry thinking about the damage she had done and all the worse outcomes that come with it, she eventually cried herself to sleep.

The next morning Iris woke up feeling exhausted physically and mentally.  She tossed and turned all night every dream feeling like a nightmare.  She got out of bed and threw on some sweats and a tank knowing the world wouldn't be seeing her today only the four walls of her apartment and McSnurtle of course, she was going to have a lazy Sunday.  She walked into the living room and stopped and looked again at the box of letters on the table and  walked to the kitchen to make a bowl of cereal.  While eating her cereal Iris hears her phone ring she runs to room hoping its Barry.  She grabs her phone and sees that its Eddie calling her.

"Ugh I do not need this right now."  Iris says walking back to the kitchen while letting the phone ring hoping he will hang up.

The phone stops ringing and Eddie has left her voicemail.  Iris begins to play the voicemail.

"Hey Iris this is Eddie, just checking up on you seeing how you are.  Maybe we can grab some lunch or something and catch up.  I really enjoyed our date the other day and wouldn't mind hanging out again, ummm okay well talk to you later."  Iris deletes the voicemail slightly annoyed.  

After hearing the voicemail of course her mind wonders to Barry.  She thinks about the lunch dates or bowling dates they could go on and how Barry would think he is king of the world after a strike and how much she would tease and try to distract him to gain a advantage.  Iris smiles thinking of the possibilities, but also begins to feel sad because in order for any of this to happen Barry would have to talk to her.  Soon her phone dings with a message.

 **"Feeling any better?  Any word from Allen?"** Linda writes

**"No not really if anything my brain is going into hyper drive of scenarios that could happen."**

**"So no Allen"**

**"No :( Im just going to have a lazy Sunday and TRY not to think so much about it.  Even though thats harder than it sounds."**

**"I have faith in you.  You'll get through this, promise.  Just let me know if you need another level 4 kit lol."**

**"Lol will do"** Iris writes back smiling.

Iris sits on her couch moving the box of letters to the side and begins watching tv as a distraction.  The only thing about tv is everything reminds her of Barry.  She watched 2 zombie movies she knows Barry would have a lot of adorable commentary on.  She surprised herself and even watched a science show Barry loved to watch when they were younger.  Iris takes a break from watching tv and takes a nap on the couch.  She is awoken by her phone ringing and in a sleepy haze she answers.

"Hello?"  Iris says yawning.

"Hey Iris, did I catch you at a bad time?"  The voice on the other end says.  Iris quickly looks at her phone and see's that its Eddie.  

"Umm, not really what's up?"

"I just wanted to see if you wanted to do something maybe grab a early dinner or something."  Eddie says hopeful and little to eager.

"Sorry I'm actually working on a story I have to finish by tomorrow so no can do."  

"Well maybe when your finish with your story."

"Yeah maybe."  Iris says knowing she shouldn't be giving him hope.

"Okay well just let me know."

"Yeah, enjoy the rest of your Sunday."

"Same to you." Iris says quickly hanging up.

Iris looks at the clock its 5:15pm.  She is supposed to have Sunday dinner with her family around 6pm, but that was before everything happened with Barry last night.  She calls Cecile so her dad doesn't try to make her feel bad and guilt her about not coming.

"Hey sweetie how are you."  Cecile says answering the phone.

"I'm okay, so I just wanted to let you guys know I cant make it to Sunday dinner I'm trying to finish this story that's due tomorrow and I'm really in the zone and don't want to lose focus.  So you guys don't have to set me a place.  Can you let dad know."

"Yeah of course I will.  Wally is going to be heaven more for him."

"I'm sure between him and Barry it wont be around long." Iris says laughing a little.

"Its going to be only Wally.  Barry isn't coming either."

"He isn't?"  Iris says fishing for information, in a sad voice.

"No he called me earlier."

"Oh okay.  Well I'm going to let you go."

"Okay, well if you change your mind I'll put some aside for you before your brother eats everything." Cecile says laughing.

"Thank you. Love you, bye."

"Love you, bye."

Iris sits on the couch wondering if she is the cause of Barry missing Sunday dinner especially since yesterday it was all he talked about.  It was always his favorite day of the week because the family would come together and just get to enjoy each other.  Iris began to wonder had she now taken this from Barry.  Iris begins watch tv again then suddenly she hears a knock on her door.  She walks up to the door and looks out the peep hole to see her dad.  She opens the door as Joe walks in he quickly takes notice of the wine and brownies. 

"Hey baby girl."  He says hugging Iris and kissing her on the forehead.

"Hey daddy."  Iris say returning Joes hug.

"So no Sunday dinner huh?"

"Umm yeah deadline I forgot about."

"Everyone needs a break."

"Don't want to lose my focus."  Iris says as he sits back on the couch turning off the tv.

"So is that dinner?"  Joe says pointing to the wine and brownies.

"No, that's tv snacks."

"TV snacks? Okay." Joe says taking a seat next to his daughter eyeing her, which Iris takes notice of.

"What daddy?"

"First Barry calls saying he is not coming to Sunday dinner when yesterday it was all he talked about and now you.  So I go see Barry."

"Wait, go see Barry?"

"Yeah, he came home packed a bag, told Wally he was fine, but he was going to stay at Ciscos."

"Oh."

"Yeah, so I go to see Barry and when I get there he is watching musicals and looks about how your looking.  So I'm going to ask you."

"Ask me what?"

"What happened between you and Barry last night?."

"Nothing."  Iris says with no confidence in her voice.

"Iris have you forgotten that I've been your dad your whole life and you've been my daughter and I know you pretty well.  Especially when your lying."

"I did something.  Something I cant take back."

"And what might that something be?"

Iris grabs the box of letters and sets them on the table in front of Joe.

"Invaded Barry's feelings."

"How did you do that?"

"So after Barry went away I found this box of letters majority of them addressed to me so I opened 1 and saw that it was from Barry, so I began to read it, and then another one and one after that.."

"Iris.."

"I know dad.  I couldn't stop reading them they were addictive, I had to feed my curiosity.  All of Barry's feelings on paper in front of me and the more I read the more powerful his words got and touched me it had me looking in a new light, looking at him in a new light.  My feelings were all over the place how I could have not seen what was right in front of me this whole time?  I was going to come talk to you yesterday morning, but then you showed up with Barry and I felt like it was a sign for me to tell Barry.  I didn't want to wait any longer."

"So you told Barry what exactly last night?"

"After karaoke we came back here and I told him that I've had time to see things and him in a new way, but that I had a little help and then I showed him the box of letters.  Dad you should've seen the face he looked at me with something I've never seen before and I hate that I caused it.  After that he just walked out without a word and now I feel like I've ruined the one good consistent thing in my life."  Iris says with tears running down her face.

"Awwww baby you didn't ruin it, bruised it a little but not ruined." Joe says grabbing Iris to comfort her.

"Well the bruise hurts."

"Its supposed to when it matters."

"Let me ask you a question." Iris says wiping her tears away.

"What did I know how Barry felt?" Joe says.

"Well....Did you?"  Iris says getting out of her dads embrace.

"Iris I'm not blind yes I knew. Cecile knew hell even Wally."

"Wally?!?" Iris says extremely surprised.

"Yes, we went to lunch maybe a few months after he came to live with us and he asked me what was the deal between you and Barry.  That Barry seemed to more than a friend, something much more."

"How could he know that?"

"Same way everyone else does probably."

"Which is?"

"The way he looks at you."

"Literally everyone saw this, but said nothing."

"Iris its not for us to tell.  Especially for me because I had 2 kids I needed to protect.  You had to be ready to see it on your own and for yourself in your own way even if it was like this.  Since were being honest I will tell you that I did know about the letters."

"What!" Iris says getting up going to the kitchen and pouring some wine with Joe following behind her.

"I already figured Barry had feelings or a crush on you, but then Cecile found the letters and showed them to me.  I didn't read all of them, but I knew it was how Barry was dealing with everything and expressing himself and it seemed to be doing some good so I left it alone."

"Dad I don't know what to do.  Its been 1 day and I already miss him like he has been gone for years.  I just don't want him to hate me forever."

"Awww baby, I promise you he doesn't hate you give him time to process he will come back to you."  Joe says wrapping arm around Iris hugging her from the side.

"Thanks daddy." Iris says leaning her head on Joe.

Iris and Joe talk for awhile before Joe heads home.  He tells Iris to sleep and try not to think about everything so much because all she is going to do is work herself up, but Iris knows that's easier said then done but she does take a long relaxing bubble bath before bed.  Iris sleeps a little better a little more prepared for the day.  She is actually looking forward to work something to get her mind off Barry for awhile.  She eats a quick breakfast and heads to work.  At work Iris is looking for every distraction she can.  She writes 2 articles and helps with a third, she is making copies for everyone, helping out in the mail room and even making out of the way coffee runs to Jitters for anyone who wants good coffee and not the horrible coffee in the breakroom.

Her day is breezing by and her mind has barely had time to wonder over to Barry, then she hears her name being called.

"Hey Iris Mason is looking for you needs a favor I think."  Her co-worker says.

"Thanks Kevin."

"Hey West your dad is a cop right?"

"Umm yeah why?"

"Cops caught a bank robber and I need someone to go over and get a quote and any extra information."

"Okay, but I thought that was Stones story."

"He is out sick, plus his dad isn't a cop."

"Got it."

Iris heads to CCPD to get a quote as she walks up to her dads desk she notices that its empty, but bumps into Eddie instead.

"Iris, hey what are you doing here?"

"Looking for my dad and a quote apparently about some bank robber."

"Oh your dad is in talking with captain."  Eddie says pointing toward the captains office whos blinds are closed.

"Oh Okay."

"I mean I can give you a quote if you want, its going to cost you though.  How about dinner?" Eddie says with a smile.

"Eddie I'm sorry, but me and you probably isn't going to work out.  Your super sweet and of course something to look at, but your just not for me."  Iris says as gently as she can.

"Wow, okay I appreciate your honesty.  Friends then?" Eddie offers his hand to Iris.

"Sure friends." Iris says shaking Eddies hand.  Just then the door to the captains office opens and out walks the captain, Joe and to her surprise Barry.

"Welcome to the team Allen, your lab is upstairs and you need at least 3 more ride a longs which I'm sure Joe will help you with and then your ID badge should be ready Wednesday or Thursday." The captain says patting Barry on the shoulder.

"Glad to be apart of the team sir."  Barry says as he walks out the office and sees Iris and Eddie holding hands. 

"Hey baby what are you doing here." Joe says with wide eyes.

"Came to get a quote about the bank robbers."  Iris quickly lets go of Eddies hand as if she has been caught doing something wrong.

"Joe I'll see you later, I'm going to go check out the lab and the equipment."  Barry says walking right past Iris as he looks down not even acknowledging her.

Iris looks at Barry, a clean shaved Barry the Barry she is used to seeing, as he walks by as he places his hands in his pockets with his head down and heads up stairs.  Iris sees this and knows that she is the cause, but quickly tries to regain some composure.

"A quote please."

"How about lunch instead?" Joe says with a sympathy face.

"Yes please."  Iris says walking out with her dad.

After a light lunch Iris heads back to her office.  Linda pokes her head in to check on Iris.

"So on a scale of  1-10 how is your day going?"

"It was a 7, I was moving and busy and my mind was mostly off Barry.."

"But?"

"Went to get the quote about the bank robbers and I saw Barry.  He is starting his 1st day at CCPD and I didn't even get to be excited for him.  He didn't even look excited for himself and its all he has ever wanted."

"What happened when you saw him?"

"I was shaking Eddies hand unfortunately which probably looked bad, but he saw me and walked right by."

"Ouch." Linda says.

"I know so that dropped my day to a 3.  I'm just ready to go to be honest."

"I'm sorry."

"Its okay, I'm giving him time."

Iris finally heads home.  She comes home with more wine and brownies and orders a pizza for dinner.  Iris has her brownies and wine join her as she takes a bubble bath as she tries to relax.  When she gets out of the tub and in the middle of her getting dressed she hears a knock at her door.

"Coming she yells."  Pulling up her sweat pants and rushes to open the door.

"Man you guys ar......Barry."

"Hey, sorry to bother you.  Can I come in?"

 


	7. Last Letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait to be honest I really didn't know how I wanted to end this. Hope you guys enjoyed it. So I want to start working on a few story ideas and would love feedback.

"Can I come in or are you busy?" Barry says in the door way.

"Never too busy for you, come in." Iris says stepping aside to let Barry in.

"Thanks." Barry walks in and looks at the kitchen and sees the brownies and wine.

"I ordered a pizza if you want to stay for dinner."  Iris says a little nervous.

"Is it to go with your level 4 Iris kit?" Barry says laughing pointing at the wine and brownies.

"Girls gotta eat." Iris says laughing back enjoying the moment.  She is glad to see Barry smile and laugh and it take a little weight off of her.

"I see." Barry says leaning against the counter.  

Iris walks in the kitchen and pours a glass of wine knowing she might need it for what ever happens next.

"You want a glass?"  Iris asked looking at Barry.

"No thank you." Barry says rubbing his neck.

Iris sits on the counter across from Barry taking a sip of wine and placing it next to her.  Neither says anything so Iris decides maybe she should break the ice.

"So how was your 1st day at CCPD?"

"It was good, still sort of surreal that I'm actually a CSI with my own lab."

"Barry you deserve it.  This has been your dream for so long, you'll be great."

"Promise?" Barry says laughing a little.

"Promise."

"I will say something was missing though."

"What?"

"You." Barry says looking Iris in her eyes.

"Barry..."

"Let me finish please, while I still have a little courage." 

"Okay." Iris says softly looking at Barry.

"Today was my first day of one of my dreams and the thing was I felt like my dream wasn't coming true at all, because you weren't there.  You've been with me through every major important thing in my life and it felt weird not having you there for this one.  When you sat the box of letters down in front of me all my dreams and fantasies of me and you had instantly became reality and a nightmare all at one time.  My mind was racing with so many thoughts and scenarios." Barry says pacing a little.

"Like?"

"First I was mad naturally, but I understood that you were probably beyond curious because lets face it,  your Iris. Secondly I was relieved a little that this was finally out in the open this weight was lifted off my chest.  Then I started to think was this the only reason you were telling me you liked me was because you took pity on me? Or maybe you felt this way now because the letters were still fresh on your mind, but the feelings would eventually wear off and you decide I wasn't what you were looking for then what?  I would lose my bestfriend and family and to me the thought of that hurt more than anything.

"Barry you could never lose me." Iris says hopping off the counter and placing her hands on Barry's which makes him stop pacing.

"Iris you..." Barry starts to say.

"Its my turn please."

"Barry that look on your face after I told you about the letters gave me the worst feeling, one I never want to feel again.  I quickly was able to put my self in your shoes because I thought I had lost you and everything we built.  I wanted to take it all back and go back to us and realized that was probably why you never said anything, because once its out there you can't go back.  You already lost one family and didn't want to lose another (Barry nods in agreement).  The thing is Barry I don't want to go back.  I'm not afraid of what comes next, because I know that what we have in our hearts is and has always been genuine even if left unspoken."  Iris turns around and picks up her wine and takes a sip.  She feels her heart beating so hard and fast not knowing what could possibly be coming next.  Its the most honest conversation she has not only had with Barry, but with herself but she means every word of it.  She closes her eyes for a second and takes a deep breath.

"I guess my dad was right."

"About what?" Iris says turning around only to be face to face with Barry again.

"That your dreams are better when they come true with the right person."

Before Iris can say anything Barry has pressed his lips against hers with his hands around her waist.  His lips are softer than what Iris pictured and his hands fit perfectly around her waist.  She wraps her arms around his neck and he lifts her up on the counter.  Iris is slightly caught off guard by how good of a kisser Barry is, its so passionate without being forceful and she is definitely enjoying it.  She runs her hands in Barry's hair and  wraps her legs around him pulling him into her.  She pulls back breaking up the kiss to not only catch her breath but to give him directions.

"Bedroom."

"Are you sure?"  Barry says locking eyes with her.

Iris leans in and gently kisses Barry again on the lips which he takes as a yes.  He picks her up and walks to Iris's bedroom.  He lays her on the bed gently and kicks off his shoes as he lays on top of her kissing her.  She pulls off his t-shirt and takes off her tank top she is wearing pulling Barry back down to her.  Barry begins kissing her neck and collarbone and Iris is completely turned on and as she reaches for his jeans the doorbell rings.

"Let it ring." Iris says whispering in Barry's ear as he Barry kisses on her neck.  The doorbell rings again followed by a knock on the door.

"I'll get it."  Barry says getting up smiling at her, much to Iris's annoyance.  

"That will be $15.28"  Iris can hear faintly from the bedroom.  She forgot all about the pizza she ordered, but she didn't really have a appetite, not for food anyway.

"Iris foods here."  She hears Barry call out.

Iris walks out her room, just wearing her bra and sweatpants, and back to the kitchen where Barry is standing  with no shirt holding a slice chewing so adorably that it makes Iris smile.

"I think the food can wait."  She says walking up to Barry seductively wrapping her arms around his tall frame looking up at him.

"Well we need something to work off."  He says placing a pepperoni in her mouth smiling at her. 

Iris lets go of him and grabs her own slice out of the box sits on the counter and begins eating.

"Since were being honest and putting everything out on the table mind if I ask you a question?"  Barry says.

"No."  Iris says even though she is a little nervous.

"What did you think of the letters?"

"Overall, minus the last few I didn't read, they were raw and pure emotion, a glimpse inside your mind and feelings that I always wanted you tell me.  In your own way I guess you did.  I felt like I went back into to time and got to relive some of greatest moments with a new set of eyes and perspective." 

"Good answer."

"Full disclosure a few of the letters that you wrote to your mom were in the box and from your dad.  As McSnurtle can testify I opened them without knowing and.. "

"Its fine.  I'm glad you saw them.  My most honest feelings with the most important people."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Have you ever told anyone about your feelings about me?"

"McSnurtle of course, Cisco, and my dad."

"Never my dad?"

"99%  sure he already knew and I'm about 98% sure he read the letters in the box when I first starting writing and wasn't sure where to put them.  Plus he is your dad the man reads people for a living and once upon a time he was a teenage boy."

"This is true."

"As far as anyone else I don't think I needed to."

"So what should be our next step?"

"Well I would like to take you on a official date."

"I would like that."

"Good." Barry says kissing Iris while chewing his food.

"Hey, so how was your first day?" Iris says laughing.

Barry smiles, "It was perfect."  He goes into all the details of his day and talks about the lab and the people that he'll be working with.  As Iris listens to Barry describes his day she knows its everything she has wanted and knows its with the right person.  She and Barry stay up majority of the night talking and re-catching up with each other this time with all their feelings out in the open and with a new kind of honesty that both of them needed.  Talking was only part of the night they also had a hard time keeping their hands off each other, but decided that they would wait a little bit before taking the next step.  The next morning Iris woke up to a empty bed and was a little bummed out.  She walked into the kitchen and saw a note on the counter,

" _Hey sleepy head can't be late for my 2nd day even though nothing can top my 1st day :) see you later."_

Iris smiles as she reads the note.  She eats a quick breakfast and texts Barry.

**"Saw your note want to have lunch later?"**

**"Of course :) "**

Iris walks into work with the hugest smile that Linda instantly takes notice of.

"That's not I'm pretending to be happy."

"Because I'm not pretending." Iris says laughing.

"Spill it West...Now!" Linda says following Iris into her office.

Iris tells Linda all about the night before with Barry and how they are rediscovering each other and it feels like everything is lining up for them.  Later on around lunch Iris heads to her apartment where her and Barry agree to have lunch.  She arrives first soon Barry knocks on her door.

"Hey you." Iris says answering the door kissing Barry."

"Hey." Barry says returning her kiss.

"Are you going to spend the night here tonight?

"If you want me too."

"I want you too." Iris says taking the food out of the bag smiling at Barry.

"So I was thinking about something."

"Where were going for our date?"

"No, I already got that pretty much planned out.  But we can't go on our date until you read the rest of the letters.  You don't have to, but I think you should at least read the last one."

"Well I can read it right now."

"How about you read it before I come over tonight...fair enough?"

"Okay." Iris says eyeing Barry a little suspiciously, but of course she is beyond curious about the last letter now.  

Iris and Barry talk and enjoy their lunch.  They talk about how they are going to tell the family they are dating and take bets on who is going to be the most surprised.  They kiss goodbye and part ways until later that night.  After Barry leaves she quickly reads a few of the letters and finally gets to the last letter.  She opens it slowly and quickly notices the date on it, its dated one day before Barry left on his CSI training.

_"Dear Iris,_

_I'm leaving tomorrow and I know I'm going to miss you a lot.  A lot of years have gone by and a lot of memories have taken place and I'm glad they 've gotten to be with you.  We've grown so much over those years and I'm proud of us and our next step.  Speaking of next step I'm ready to take mine so here goes nothing.  Iris Ann West the most beautiful girl that my eyes have ever saw I want you too know that I'm in love with you.  I would love for you to be my side in all aspects of my life until the end of our lives showing you off every chance I get.  I want so many things for us, but most importantly I want us to be together.  If you don't feel the same way that's fine, but I made myself a promise that I would tell you how I feel.  I still want you to be happy with who ever makes you happy and I hope they are lucky enough ,as I have been, to know how good they have it with you by their side. -Bartholomew H. Allen_

_P.S I used my real name so you would know that I'm serious :)"_

Iris looks at the letter lovingly and notices McSnurtle.

"Your dad is really so cute.  I hope its okay if I'm your step-mom." 

Iris texts Barry that she has read the last letter and can't wait to see him later which he replies with a smiley face.  She goes back to work and tell Linda about the letter.

"He was going to tell me when he came back!  I beat him to it."

"But without the help of letters or anything.  That's so bold and risky but also so romantic."

"To be honest I don't know what I would've said."

"You still would've given it a shot.  He's Barry."

"I know."

Iris leaves work and gets ready for Barry to come over.  She makes some spaghetti and veggies and just as she finishes she hears a knock on the door.

"Hey."  Barry says softly in the doorway leaning down to kiss her.

"Hey yourself." Iris says kissing him back.

"I'm really getting use to that."  Barry walks into the apartment with a bag. 

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."  Barry says kissing her again and sitting the bag down.

"Well same here Mr. Allen." 

"Smells good."

"I just finished." They both sit down to eat talking about their day.  

"So you saw the letter." Barry says finishing the last bit of food.

"I did.  I loved it Barry I'm glad you were going to me."  Iris says wiping off the sauce on Barry's face with her finger.

"Well now you can understand a little better why I was sorta freaked out, but I think its working out pretty well."

"So well I got you a gift."  Iris says getting up.

"A gift?"

"Yep.  McSnurtle thought it was a good idea."  Iris pulls out something in her purse

"Ummmmm okay..."

"Here." 

"A Key."

"To my apartment.  I'm pretty sure your going to be here a lot."  Iris sits back down in front of Barry.

"Well I don't know if my gift is going to top yours."  Barry says looking at the key as if it had magical powers.

"You got me something." 

"I was going to give it to you on our first date, but I couldn't wait."

"Awww bear."

"Close your eyes.  Really close them Iris I know you."

"I wont cheat I promise."  She hears Barry going through his bag and him sitting back in front of her.

"Okay, open."

Iris looks in front of her its a box with a bow.  She looks at Barry who smiles.

"Open it."

Iris opens the box to find more letters addressed to her.

"What is this?"

"The college years and a little past.  I was going to throw them away, but I felt like you deserve them.  So I want to read them to you." Barry says smiling.

Iris leans over and kisses him which he returns.

"I deserve you.  These can wait I can't."  Iris says again kissing Barry but a little bit more passionately which he catches the hint  and they head to her bedroom again and finish what they started the night before.  The next morning they wake up and Iris makes them cereal and fruit and Barry pulls out a letter of the box and begins to read it to her.

"Dear Iris,....."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry about the wait. I will have 1 more mini chap. Plus I would love your feedback on new story ideas (I have started writing all but will devote my time to 1)..Eventually I will write all of them, but I want to know which to do next so any feedback would be great thanks again.
> 
> 1\. Barry the successful business man, Iris doing a story on his company  
> 2\. Barry bar owner  
> 3\. High School: Barry is the new kid  
> 4\. New Neighbor with dogs


	8. Epilouge

"Barry are you sure you want me to go?"

"Yes, Iris I'm sure.  I told my dad I was bringing my girlfriend and it might help sell it a little if you were there...girlfriend."

"Say it again."

"Girlfriend."  Barry says walking up to Iris in the kitchen.

"It sounds amazing...boyfriend. But I still think maybe you want to tell him alone."

"Well every CSI knows you need evidence to prove anything."

"And what exactly are you trying to prove?"

"That I'm the luckiest guy in the world and that this amazing girl makes me beyond happy."

"Good line Mr. Allen.  I guess I cant be mad at that."

"I knew my girlfriend was the best."  He says giving her a quick kiss.

 

* * *

 "That's so cute you guys are going on a triple double date."

"I know, I had to talk Barry into it a little."

"I'm sure it wasn't that hard." Linda says laughing.

"I have my ways."

"Well I will see you tomorrow at work."

"Bye talk to you later." Iris says as she finishes getting ready.  She walks out of the bedroom into the living room where Barry is sitting on the couch talking to McSnurtle.  Barry turns his head to look at her.

"Wow!"

"Thank you.  Are you ready?"

"Maybe we should just stay home."  Barry says getting up eyeing her placing his hands on her waist.

"Maybe later after dinner."  Iris says kissing Barry knowing what he wants.

"Ugh.....okay.  Bye McSnurtle."  

Barry and Iris leave the apartment and head to Ginos to meet up with Wally, Jessie, Cecile and Joe for dinner.  

"Hey you guys." Joe says greeting them.

"Hey daddy."  Iris says hugging her dad and Cecile as Barry also hugs them.

"Where's Wally?" Barry asks.

"They had to stop at some bookstore or something for Jessie.  I told him it was fine since we might have about a 20min wait.  Someone is having a surprise or something so they are having to make adjustments in the dinning area, they are willing to make our meal half off."

"Oh wow that nice of them." Iris says.

"Why don't you guys go walk in the park or something and we'll text you when its ready." Cecile says.

"That sounds nice."  Barry says grabbing Iris's hand.

"Yeah lets go."  Taking Barry's lead and putting her hand in his.

They head off into the park hand and hand welcomed by a nice breeze.  They laugh and talk and even stop to listen to a guy playing his saxophone for change.  They continue to walk and notice a bench overlooking the entire park and have a seat. 

"This is nice."

"I know especially since its with you."  Barry says giving Iris a quick kiss.  Barry phones buzzes.

"So cute you are."

"Looks like the table is ready."  Barry says putting his hand out for Iris to grab which she takes.

"Your shoe is untied babe."

"Thank you."  Barry bends down to tie his shoe as Iris stands taking in the beautiful atmosphere of the park.  She turns back and notices Barry still hasn't stood up, but then sees why.

"Iris West, years ago I asked if you would be my friend and it was the best decision I could've ever made in my entire life and being with you has brought me the most amazing memories and happiness that I couldn't picture with anyone else.  I talked it over with McSnurtle and he agrees that maybe its time I ask you a new question...Iris West will you marry me?"  Barry opens the ring box with a beautiful ring inside.

"What are my options?"  Iris says with tears forming in her eyes as she lets out a little laugh.

"Yes, maybe or Yes."  Barry says laughing.

"Of course yes!"  Barry slowly slides the ring on her finger and gets up laughing kissing and hugging her.  He wipes away her tears and they both smile at each other ear to ear.  They walk hand and hand back to the restaurant.

When they arrive Iris doesn't see anyone.

"West and Allen?"  A man says walking up to them.

"Yes."  Iris says looking at Barry.

"Your party is already seated back here, follow me."

Iris follows the man with Barry walking behind them.  They get to a door and it opens.

"Surprise."  The room is filled with their friends and family.  Iris turns around and looks at Barry who is laughing and clearly in on it.

"You set this up didn't you?"  Iris says, looking at Barry.

"Well you said Yes.  She said Yes."  Barry says addressing Iris and the room which every erupts out in congratulations and applause.  Iris smiles at him and puts her ring finger up in the hair.  Her dad,Cecile and Wally walk up to hug her and Barry and soon the room follows with hugs, high fives and congrats.  Iris suddenly spots Linda,

"You knew didn't you?"

"Yes, I've known for about 2 weeks.  He is really good at keeping secrets."  Linda says laughing.

After the surprise engagement dinner Barry and Iris are back home and sit on the couch and share a small bowl of ice cream.

"You were right?"

"About what?" Barry says putting the last bit of ice cream in his mouth.

"My dream of marrying the right person is way better when you know your with the right person.  I love you Barry Allen.

"And I love you Iris West."

"I think later has arrived."  Iris says giving Barry a look which he waste no time understanding.

* * *

 

Iris had been thinking of the perfect gift to give Barry as a wedding gift and it had finally hit her the day of the wedding.  She got up early that morning  and decided on what to do.

_"Dear Bartholomew Henry Allen_

_Today is finally the big day.  Its been a long time coming to get us to this point, but in a world filled with so many people I'm glad I got to take the journey with you.  We've had ups and downs and I'm glad that you were by my side for all of them and that I could be at yours.  The glow that you give me and the way that you light up my heart is more than any girl could ask for.  Where would I be without you, probably not this happy.  You've been  a wonderful friend, brother, and son beyond what anyone could've asked for that's how I know you'll be a wonderful husband and eventually a loving and caring father.  I'm ready for our journey so lets do this.  I love you Bartholomew :)  - Sincerely Iris West-Allen._

_P.S.  I want to see tears when I walk down the aisle lol._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well you guys that the end of everything. Thanks for sticking around I appreciate everything so much :) You guys are amazing...catch you for the next story..

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed it please leave comments if you have time, I love to hear your thoughts and opinions have a good day :)


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